Baby panic sets in

Someone on our Yahoo group posted that they had heard a rumor the next two groups of referrals may be bundled together. We've been thinking we would probably get our referral in early November, but if the rumor is true we could hear in early October. We're trying not to get too excited about that happening, it is, afterall, a rumor.

Meantime, Jon has yet to get his shots. We haven't done our "online" training courses and I'm suddenly in a panic that I should re-read the baby medical book and memorize Dr. Spock while one of the extremely optimistic Chinese in 10 days CDs plays on repeat mode. At least I'll be able to say hello, goodbye, pardon me, and thank you. My language goal is to be gracious. Also, I've learned how to recognize the symbol for the ladies room so at least I won't be embarrassed. (I know how to say "forgive me, I'm a stupid American" in several languages. Mandarin is next. That phrase comes in handy and always gets a smile.)

We haven't bought a crib yet but yesterday we found a rocker for Molly's room. Fortunately it won't arrive for 8-12 weeks. By then we might actually have a place to put it. As we were leaving "Suite Dreams," where we found the rocker, we ran into Mark, Sarah and Julia. They were looking at Julia's Big Girl Bed and a new dresser for Baby Sister. I felt better after I saw them.

Wandering around in that store I was getting a bit overwhelmed thinking about things like how are we going to do everything that we need to before we go? How much Chinese should we try to learn? Why haven't I finished the book about bonding in toddler adoption yet? Is soy formula preferable to Similac or Nestle? Even if we did complete the baby-shopping we need to do where would we put things like a crib and dresser right now? And how successfully can you cram for parenting on a plane filled with screaming babies?

It's getting to be a nerve-wracking time. Packing lists are big on my mind right now. I spent last night reading different people's packing lists and found a site where adoptive parents talked about what they took, what they wish they had left home, and what they didn't take but wished they had. The truly nail-biting (which, by the way is EXTREMELY VULGAR according to a Chinese ettiquette site I found) part is that many of the lists contradict one another. We'll just have to go with the flow and trust ourselves to be able to live with our decisions, whatever they may be, just as we usually do.

One thing we know for certain - despite the fact that almost every packing list includes instant oatmeal packets, Jon and I have agreed we won't take them. Neither of us actually enjoys instant oatmeal (unless we're camping) and we figure that won't change simply because we're in China. I'm glad that's settled.

I also decided we will keep Molly on whatever type of formula she is using in China. Why force her to go through the stomach aches and potential food allergies when she's trying to get used to being with us? Wouldn't that be an awful lot to put her through all at the same time? We want her to feel happy and comfortable and change as few things in her life as possible. We'll buy enough formula there that she can stay on it for the first week at home with us, too. Won't that ease our transition? If she's going to feel crummy, wouldn't it be better to do it in a setting where we can take her to the doctor easily and where we can be calm and relaxed to help soothe her angst?

Other decisions: We will buy diapers and a cheap stroller when we get there. We will not buy a seat for her on the plane.

I found a wipe-off bib, folding travel bowl and some spoons at Babies R Us that will fit nicely in the red backpack Mom sent along with the board books, little toys and blanket she knit (which are all on many people's packing lists, Mom, good job!) and we picked out a car seat - the Cosco Alpha and Omega in black/grey - it's a convertable one so no matter how big she is when we get her it should work. We'll buy that closer to the time we leave, probably. Now we need to decide about baby wipes, inflatable baby bath tubs (folds flat for packing!), more little toys, bottles, nipples and sippy cups. So many options, so little luggage space.

Many mothers journal about their experience of waiting and the "journey." I haven't. I've done this, which lately is more about the house, and I've set aside a pile of materials to put in a scrapbook. I've bought a journal and I was sort of thinking it would be like the journal I didn't use in Europe. I could carry it around and stuff ticket stubs and travel brochures into it. Does that count? What if Molly thinks I'm negligent when she gets to be a teenager? What if we're awful parents?

Along that vein - The cat's itchy skin business gave me a sudden burst of anxiety about what negligent parents we might become. I'd never heard of "stud tail" and apparently the cat has suffered from it since around Christmas time. That and the waxy ear business she's had since we got her has also cleared up with the medication the vet gave her for the itchy skin. What she has is "Rodent Ulcer." It's some sort of autoimmune complex that has nothing to do with rodents where she's reacting to epithelial cells. It's exacerbated by stress. How could we be such irresponsible pet owners for so long? Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself about it - the vet has never picked up on any of this stuff until the ulcerous tracts (bleeee-ech) started over the past few weeks. At Christmas time he told us she was probably allergic to our Christmas tree.

I'm going to go throw out some stuff now so at the very least Molly will have closet space and we can wedge the crib into our room.

Can people get rodent ulcer?

C

That little itch is telling me something.